Don't call them drugs

That's right people. We are losing the war on drugs because "drugs" is an adorable word. Of course kids want to take drugs. It rhymes with hugs. It rhymes with bugs. It rhymes with jugs.

If someone ever offered me drugs in high school I would have said yes, yes that word reminds me of hugs. It is fun and easy to say, of course I would like some.

Instead of pumping millions into a campagin that won't work, pump as little as 30 seconds a day into a campaign that will.

From this moment always refer to drugs as flabstoyginyars.

That word rhymes with Magyars. Kids won't know what those are. It's not easy to say. It's hard to abbreviate into something cute.

Flabbies? I don't think so. Stoygies? Already old person smokes. Yaryars? People are fucking sick of pirates and sick of you too Jonny Depp.

Noone will get flabstoyganyars tatooed on their arm because it's goddamn expensive to spell. (I also propose no standaradized spelling so kids looking to buy on the internet can't find reliable sources)

Help me help you help the world end its addiction addiction to giving awful things endearing names and together we can introduce humankind to flabstoginyars so we can get the world quit flabstoginyars.

photo by verifex